6a00e54f7fc4c58833014e8899a2cc970d

Everything you need to know to win the Tour. Or, if not win, show up and know what is going on.It’s the biggest fake Grand Tour in the world, bar none. For four Thursdays in July, Speed of Light is the center of the cycling universe, and YOU can be a part of it. Each stage goes off, rain or shine, at 6:30pm from Ec or 6:45pm from the Bunker Hill Parking Lot. All times will be taken from Strava or by submission to ilikefatbikes@gmail.com

The Classifications

GC. The coveted yellow jersey, the maillot jaune, is held by the person who has spent the least amount of time on the bike each week. Each stage, your time is added up, with the general classification winner holding the fastest time. This year, there are NO time bonuses for the GC. The GC will be worth 50 points, -1 throughout the GC final standings.

Points. The green jersey, often called the sprinter’s jersey, but as both our Tour and the real Tour show, it’s just as much about consistency. For the Tour, we’re using the infamous Power Section. The fastest time on the Power Section will be awarded 10 points, with 8,6,4 and 2 for the top five. The Sprint stage will be the third stage, with double points on offer. The green jersey will be worth 10 points, -1 for the top ten final standings.

Mountains. The polka dot jersey will be for grabs on the Vasa CC Climb, where it all started four years ago. The mountain classification will have a double points night on Stage Two and Stage Four, making it a bit of a climber’s Tour. The Mountain classification will be worth 10 points, -1 through the top ten final standings.

Best Old Rider. The white jersey goes to the best old rider, with riders over 50 years old in the running. Note you have to finish all stages for the GC and this competition, and please put ‘OLD’ in your ride title if you qualify. This is also worth 10 points, -1 through the top ten final standings.

Women’s GC. All women who complete the four stages will be in with a shout, and with Kaitlyn Patterson slated to miss the end, it could be wide open this summer. The women’s GC will be worth 10 points, -1, and they’ll also be scored on the overall GC, giving them a chance to take as many as 60 points.

Team Competition. The top two times from each team are added up for a team time each week. Any two riders can score, and those two riders can be different every week. Like the Points and Mountains classifications, you don’t need to race each week to score for your team. All riders finishing on the GC will be given 10, 8, 6, 4 and 2 points for the first five teams in the final results.

The Stages

Stage One. Straight time, straight points for every classification. It’s enough to stack things up on GC, but there’s rarely big enough time gaps to rule any of the favorites out this early. Look for riders to be aggressive early and go for points, but try to save something late and try to take yellow.

Stage Two. It’s the first mountains stage, and one that may see riders far down on GC prioritize polka dots over yellow. The Vasa CC Climb comes early on the course and riders have to be aggressive and take chances to nab it, and what is more fitting than Bastille Day to see some riders give it a strong run?

Stage Three. It’s one for the sprinter’s and with many riders likely far down on GC by now, it’s almost always one of the fiercest nights of the Tour, especially with riders battling for position on the start of the Power Section.

The Queen Stage. Once a year, we do it twice. The last stage is straight time, but double points for the Mountain Classification, but the GC riders will take on two laps of the course for the only time of the summer. Only riders still in the running on GC have to do two, and single lap times will not count. Time gaps can be massive, but the Queen Stage is often the scene of some of the most exciting, fun and dramatic racing all summer.

It’s important to note that there will be drug testing, so please, try to piss clean. We don’t want a positive result going and making this feel cheap and hollow.