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You’ve sat there, three wheels back, thinking about it: If (person ahead of you) were a song, what song would they be? Well, now there is an answer. And you can’t argue with it. Well, you can. But it won’t change.

Sean Kickbush, M-22. The Arizona Wunderkind is back in the Great White North, and he’s faster than ever. Fast, aggressive, quietly likeable….Sean Kickbush is so obviously Ed Sheeran’s “Don’t”. He even makes you as uncomfortable (physically and socially) as this music video. kolo t.c. was not aware music videos still existed.

Justin Morris, Einstein Racing. Stunningly handsome, tall and really diabetic, “Mad Dog” is exactly like an imported Mickey Humpula. He is fast, and we are both lucky and cursed that he is only in America at random intervals. It all adds up to Maroon 5’s “Sugar”.

Ryan Kennedy, Einstein Racing. No one, and I mean no one, does a Taylor Swift karaoke. After almost literally bringing down the house with his “Shake It Off” cover, it would be a crime not to see him treat us, nay, the WORLD to his version of “Style”.

Ty Schmidt, Norte! Youth Cycling.  The Schmidt crew uses a lot of Spanish, or espanol, and often times it is easy to picture the quick, metronomic cadence of the Canadian bouncing along to some Manu Chao tune….or specifically this Manu Chao tune.

Rob Goepfrich, Hagerty Cycling. Look at his face. He is a co-founder of the Men with Mustaches Club, lived the 80s to his core, and guddammit, he brings it. There is no song in the last 10-15 years that could possibly define this man. Def Leppard. Crank it up to 11. Let it move you. 

Tune in next week when we compare more riders to Bruce Willis movies.