9-Tom-Selleck

3,000 people on bikes. Barry-Roubaix is just around the corner. The gracious city of Hastings will welcome almost an Iceman’s worth of cyclists on Saturday, and we’ve half-assed some information about the event that won’t be of much use at all.

Weather: Cold. It’s going to be cold. It’s the tail-end of March in Michigan, which means you’re going to be cold warming up, hot for about 10 minutes, then probably cold again. Temperatures on the start line will be hovering around 18 degrees, so bring some coffee or tea or a heating pad. Fat bikers will have a big advantage, as they know how to dress for this. They will be the ones wearing shorts and the Hawaiian shirt Tom Selleck made famous in Magnum, P.I.,

Course: There will be some hills, a more or less equal amount of descents, some pavement, and a lot of gravel. Don’t over think it. With Sager Road officially included, it’s might even be nice that the weather is cold, so it won’t be muddy. You just spent $350 fixing your rig after Iceman. At least you won’t have to do that again until Mud, Sweat and Beers.

CX, MTB, or Fat?: What do you have? Ride that. The guy that is going to win Saturday could probably win on a Schwinn Milk Crate. The rider with the advantage is probably one who has the most free time, fewest family and work obligations, and the optimal combination of genes to maintain a low percentage of body fat and process oxygen efficiently. Bike racing is a sport where one guy wins and everyone else loses. Every time. You better be there on your favorite bike, with your best buds, and having a blast. That’s what matters.

Tires: The roundest, rubberyest ones you have.

Social: #BRX #BarryRoubaix #poundsign

Predictions

Men’s 62: Adam York? Or Tom Burke? One of the WAS Labs guys, probably. Just feels like that’s gonna happen.

Women’s 62: Kae Takeshita. Would LOVE to say Mackenzie Woodring, but then this post would not have gotten the chance to write Takeshita. Plus, Kae is a crusher.

Men’s 36: Someone that should have probably been in the 62 mile.

Women’s 36: Somebody from Grand Rapids. (Safe bet)

Fat Bike: DAN JANSEN! Tyler Keuning in second. And what will really piss everyone off is that these two will be really, really nice about it. They are both like the Ned Flanders of bike riding. It’s annoying.

Good luck. Race Recap Sunday. kolo t.c. will be in the car for 4 hours Saturday. The Subbie only goes 60mph.